how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
