when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
