to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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