after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
