Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
