I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize