operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
