whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize