we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
50% drunk capacity currently
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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