I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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