Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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