dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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