Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
