this boner is exhausting
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
