you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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