I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
