at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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