the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
so much tequila, so little girl.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
