I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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