so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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