brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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