Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
