What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
