haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
