what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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