Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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