im gay
i know
yea but for you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I love how my cats smell like pot.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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