So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
