She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
