I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
