We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
