They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize