I'm eating all of the evidence.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
