I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
