At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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