$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
