Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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