Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I need moral support for this bender
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
