I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
