I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
