Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
