I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
