We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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