still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
