What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
