i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
