dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
