elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
