I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
