No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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