We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
