Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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