I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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