I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
