your thong is hanging out like whoa
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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