your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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