How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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