grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
