his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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