Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
