my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize