JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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