Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
